Life as a Spectator Sport

I've always assumed my children were of more or less average intelligence--no geniuses, but a long way from stupid. I may have to revise that, or else I'm going to have to move the benchmark for average a long way farther up than I thought it was.

I trained both Shelley and Kay to help me with the grocery store inspections. Kay only did a few of them, but it was Shelley's main source of income for over a year. I took them both out with me a couple of times, and then turned them loose, especially after getting one of those "Puh-leeeze, Mother!" looks from Shelley when I tried to explain something to her one too many times. "Don't you think I can figure this out?" she demanded. "Yes, dear," I replied humbly (and gratefully).

Now I'm training another woman to take on some of the work. She managed a local business for years, has a high reputation for carefulness and accuracy, is clearly not un-intelligent, but is so agonizingly slow to catch on that I'm tearing my hair out.

"Work from the food to the form, Lisa," I say for the tenth time. "Don't worry about the eggs--we're standing in the middle of the produce department. Look at what's around you."

I watch as she slooowly traces her finger down the list of vegetables to figure out where to put the total number of cucumbers. She stops at Greens and begins to write.

"No, Lisa," I say. "Look down here, the cucumbers go in with squash and zucchini and pumpkins. They're all cucurbits. Greens are leafy things like lettuce."

"They go in with squash?" she asks in obvious astonishment. "I thought cucumbers were greens."

"They're long and round and have a rind and seeds in the middle," I point out. "Lettuce and mustard and turnip greens aren't anything like that."

The really pathetic thing here is that no one has to know the difference between brassicas and cucurbits and the other vegetable families. The food checklist clearly spells out which items go together.

Lisa shakes her head. "I'm not used to dividing things up like this." She glances over at another section of the checklist and mutters, "Beef, veal . . . Let's see, do they have any lamb here?"

I tell her again to wait until she gets to that department before trying to fill in that section. "When you think you've recorded everything, then look down the list and see if you have missed anything. Don't worry about blank places on the list until you've gone all the way around the store."

We're inspecting a store that has roughly the same square footage as my 14 x 70 mobile home. It would take me fifteen to twenty minutes. After two hours, when we still haven't finished, I hand her the page for the floorplan sketch and tell her I'll take the pictures while she does the sketch. She is still struggling with one corner of the sketch by the time I finish the pictures. And this is not the first store she has done with me, more like the fifth or sixth. I'm beginning to doubt that she is going to be able to do the work.

So I think my kids must have been a lot smarter than I gave them credit for. Sorry, guys.

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RSS Feed PERSONAL Send email to liz at life-as-a-spectator-sport.com Home I'm a mother, grandmother, a computer professional, Democrat, Christian. I welcome politely worded comments and email, my spam filter throws the rest away, so don't bother to flame me WHY 'LIFE AS A SPECTATOR SPORT' "If you're lucky not to live in the gutters of a slum, but still can't afford to take vacations in the Alps, you're part of that enormous middle class who lives life through the medium of the television, further separated from "real" life by air conditioner, by automobile, by dishwasher, microwave and ice-in-the-door refrigerator, by automatic washer and dryer, and all the other appliances and conveniences that make it possible for America to live life at second hand. I'm not sure why Americans decided that televised drama was better than the real thing, that cardboard microwave food containers were an adequate substitute for real dishes, and their contents for real food, or that cooking, dishwashing and face-to-face conversation wasn't worth the effort and time it required. Someone fed this nation a plastic crate of out-of-season tomatoes and told us it was life and we took them at their word, and we're so much the poorer for it that it's hard to know where to start to list the shortcomings." I wrote this a couple of years ago, but I have to admit it's much less amusing than I thought it would be to see the artifical construct falling apart. THE NON-ELECTRIC HOME Cleaning, 1 Cleaning, 2 Cleaning, 3 KNITTING BLOGS Extravayarnza Knitting Heretic Mind of Winter Pie Knits Persistent Illusion See Eunny Knit The Keyboard Biologist Taleweaver's Ramblings TECHnitting Wendy Knits FINISHED PROJECTS -------FINISHED IN 2006------- Peruvian Cap Tutti-Frutti Socks Shelley's Socks Carol's Socks -------FINISHED IN 2007------- Chain Link Socks Baby Surprise Jacket Valerie & Friend Baby Bonnet Rainbow Baby Socks Girls Pixie Hood Mitred Square Heart Red & White Socks Coffee Cup Pot Holder Nubbins Dishcloth Garterlac Dishcloth Suede Booties Kate's Socks Norwegian Sweet Baby Cap Half Thumbless Mittens Red Mittens for Akkol -------FINISHED IN 2008------- SELF-RELIANCE AND THE FUTURE -- Blogs and websites -- Causubon's Book Club Orlov Food Storage Made Easy From the Wilderness In the Wake Listening to Katrina Survival Topics The Modern Homestead The Oil Drum Notes from a Hillside Farm -- Mailing Lists -- 12vdc Power Living on the Land Rainwater Refrigeration Alternatives Old Ways of Living POLITICAL BLOGS and SITES The political sites have moved BOOKS I'M READING How to Grow More Vegetables, etc. Small Scale Grain Raising ARCHIVES February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 August 2008 July 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002